Typical

Seriously, why I ever do anyone any sort of favour is beyond me.

When you ask for one back, no one wants to know. I've had it with people taking advantage all of the time.

Tried to call in sick for work tomorrow and guess what, no one will cover my shift. After all of the shifts I've covered for them before at the drop of a hat and the ONE TIME I call in sick, they say no.

Seriously they can go and fucking shite off. If they ever ask me to do any thing for them again, I'm actually going to tell them where to go. I honestly can't believe it! The bastards! Once they get their way, they are happy. But when it comes to doing something for someone else, they either ignore you or flat out refuse to do it.

Well the days of 'ah sure delightfully_delighted will cover' are long gone.

Decisions, Descisions...

By golly! My life seems to have gotten very busy all of a sudden!

Seriously I go for months without having any fun due to lack of funds (festival tickets to pay for and a shit ass paying job being the culprits) and now suddenly I have commitments.

Commitments are not something I like. I generally like being more elusive and saying 'maybe' or perhaps 'I'll see'. But for some reason I've been saying 'yes' a lot more.

I've somehow agreed to go to the protest march that's on at the Dáil tomorrow evening. Still don't exactly know how I managed to rope myself in to that one. Mind you, apparently I'm going to be marching with the socialist party. Hmmm... I don't know if I like assigning myself to a political party with issues like this. Knowing me I'll get very passionate about the subject in the heat of the moment and they'll try and convince me to join them and their battle for justice.

Don't laugh, its happened before!

But to be honest I don't really have any other option. My friend who I plan to be going to the march with is a member of the party and seems to think that I've agreed to be assigned to flag holding duty.

You may know kindly fuck off mister!

That means associating myself with them for a common purpose. But what about when they ask me to help them on other issues?! What do I say? 'No sorry, I'm a lone ranger?!' hahaha I don't bloody think so!

Anyway I don't even know if I'll go, I'll probably make up some lame ass excuse not to go. Well it is my day off and I would like to go to the gym and run some errands...

Ok now I'm making excuses again. Excuses to get me out of awkward situations. Just like I always do. Oh well... we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Cycle Chic

Oh it has been a long time, hasn't it?!

Normally I'd avoid the issue of forgetting my password and make up some elaborate lie. Something that perhaps involved password stealing gnomes with giant yellow earrings or perhaps a tale of world wide travels where I found an actual pixie man and adopted him, giving the new name of Gerald but NO, I did forget my password and wasn't bothered to try and get pass the very very hard recovery process.

However, no need to fear! I am here once again.

Here to tell the tales of what I've been up to.

Or not.

No, I'm not going to. I'm going to leave who ever is reading this guessing about my absenteeism and let you come to your own conclusion. By the way it was most certainly not doing nothing. Nope. No sir. Nadda.

Right.

So yeah, I'm thinking of getting a bicycle. Not one of those power house contraptions that you see wizzing around the place. Notice how they are always ridden by some guy in his fifties with lycra clinging to his every contour, so much so that you can see the PORES on his armpits?!

I'm sorry but that whole culture of cycling is just vile! Cycling is supposed to be a normal mode of transport for normal people. I have however stumbled across the culture known as 'cycle chic'.

Now THIS I'm interested in!

People looking fabulous on retro bicycles... I can dig that.

An essential blog for all of this is Copenhagen Cycle Chic. They have wonderful photographs celebrating the nicer side of cycling. Mind you, Copenhagen has a completely different attitude to cycling that we Irish have. Over there Cyclists are not a triple point object that you score if you knock one over! In Copenhagen cyclists have the right of way instead of cars. If it snows, the cycle lanes get plowed first ahead of the main roadways! This is because there are so many people using the bike for day to day travelling, instead of using it purely at the weekend.

In fairness, I do think that Dublin's attitude to cycling is changing. The bike to work schemes are great and a lot of people are taking advantage of it, seeing as its a cheap way to keep fit in these recession times. Not to mention its good for the environment!

Anyway, the whole cycle chic thing is a completely separate thing altogether.

Exhibit A



Now one can hardly disagree that this chick doesn't look shit hot, no? hahaha

See that bike right there? That's my bike. Or rather the bike I want. €570 is a bit steep though so I'll be going for the cheaper option. One with a basket for €250! :)

The Copenhagen Cycle Chic website is actually launching a Dublin Cycle Chic event which is happening on 16th June! Details can be found here. So apparently you have to send in a photo or something to get invited to it but hopefully I'll have my bike by then and will be waiting outside looking awesome and ready for someone to take my picture! hahaha

Now... to get that bike! Donations anyone? :)

Its gone!

Well the mop of hair that I called my own... it is now gone. It served me well.

Through my 'cut your own hair' phase...

My 'back comb it as much as possible' phase...

My beat the hell out of it with a GHD phase..

My 'let it go au natural' phase...

Ahhh... good times.


Or not.

The reason why I went over in the first place to get it done was because it was taking so long to actually bend to my command that I was sick and tired of it! It wouldn't stay the way I wanted it and there was a lovely chunk of hair that managed to get singed by a cigarette when it was foolish enough to jump in front of it on a spectacularly windy day... oh how I cursed when that happened!

Now though... well. I have gotten a fringe. Yes a fringe.

My history with fringes isn't one I look back on fondly. I got a fringe when I was about 10 and I swear to god the bitch that did it thought that the thing was supposed to start from the back of your head. That was how I ended up with a mallet fringe that came 6 inches thick away from my face. Bitch.

So yeah, I was going out on a limb here but I was so sick of it the way it was that I didn't care anymore. Well... I have to say... I love it! I am thrilled with the results! It has ended up looking like a mix between Florence Welsh and Kate Moss! woot! hahaha

I have to figure out how the hell to style it now and not singe the thing when I blow dry it!

Another Tale To Tell

Jesus I knew I'd be shite at keeping this blog alive!

Anyway I haven't been up to much... that's my usual response when someone I don't either know or even like asks me how I'm doing. You're getting no details out of me so you can go. Go away now! I'm talking about the imaginary people I have formed who I don't know or like, not you dear reader.

Ok its taking me a little longer than normal to write this as I seem to have a case of the shakes. From the cold.

Right.

So last night I went out. (Yes this is how its going to begin!)

Ok so its my own fault for even attempting to wear shoes with more than an inch high heel. In fairness though I thought it was doable! They had a platform on the ball of the foot for fuck sake! So it looked like a four inch heel, when really, in reality it was only 2 or 3 inches. I'm ok with that. Or so I thought...

So what happened was I dragged Grace to the Phantom Friday night. I fooled myself that John(I am changing names here so to protect my privacy and pride) would be up for a little shameless flirting and maybe a quick wear but no, the man now has a girlfriend and wouldn't even say hi. Right. That has done a lot for the ego. Especially after the whole Paul (another name change) and the whole 'Oh I now happen to be now dating one of the branch managers that you speak to on a daily basis right in front of your face and I'm pretending to be apologetic about it' incident, lets just say it knocked me when I didn't need any more knocking. Know what I mean? So I drank to compensate, as you do. :D

So basically that ended in disaster. I remember going up to talk to John at some stage to say I was high tailing it out of there and he nodded and smiled and pretended to pay attention. I'm glad I never removed the word 'asshole' from the front of his name in my phone.

So we left and got in a taxi to Whelans.

This 'incident' happened as a result of three mistakes on my part.

I put back on my plastic tastic shoes in the taxi and actually managed to convince myself that I was going to be able to walk in them. Yeah. First mistake.

We got out of the taxi early because the traffic was mental. Second mistake.

Enter the crossroads at Wexford St.

Que changing traffic lights.

Que me making the decision to go for it. Third mistake.

*shuffle shuffle shuffle* Go Chrisso! You can make it! (My internal monologue) Go Chrisso!!!!!!!!

*Thump*

Apparently my feet has an objection to moving in a coordinated fashion to cross the fucking road because all of a sudden I find myself face down on the ground, right smack bam in the middle of a busy intersection mind, with my feet dangling in the air behind me.

Right in front of stopped traffic!!!

To say I'm mortified beyond belief is an understatement! Although I'm thinking about it and I can't stop fucking laughing about it because it was THAT bad! I actually properly skulled myself!

Now I have two wonderful bruises on my already battered legs. I have named them Barry and Bob. They are going to be hanging around for a while so I said I'd welcome them along to the disaster zone that is my body and make them feel that extra bit welcome by assigning them names. I wouldn't mind but they happened to appear on an artery so they are really sore!

Jesus I need a go of a soapy sponge.

So anyway, I'm lying there in the middle of the road and Grace, who made it across, lucky bitch, can't even LOOK at me! She physically TURNED her body AWAY from me because she could barely stand from laughing so hard. Did she help me?! Oh no she bloody well didn't! I had to PEEL myself from the tarmac while trying once again to stand in the plastic tastic shoes and continue to cross the road while busting my ass laughing. All the while limping like a leper!!!

Seriously I'm writing this and can't stop laughing! No doubt Grace will give me a step by step replay of the whole incident later... bitch. hahaha

She did say after I got across the road, that I didn't even SAY anything before or during the fall. The only reason she turned around to look at me was because of the sound my shoes made before I hit the deck! Apparently they squeaked in protest just before I said 'Hi' to the ground with my face! Bastard plastic tastic shoes. Gave me a shagging set of blisters aswell for my trouble the bastards!

Damn squeeking, blister inducer, Barry and Bob creator, plastic tastic shoes!!!!

Here they are...




So Whelans was great! Hahahaha after all of that! :D Got attacked by Tommy the bouncer with the stamping machine. Woke up this morning with a limp, arms covered in stamps, a carpet in my mouth, erratic blisters and a twitching face along with the shakes.

I resemble a pirate.

Nice.

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

I'm bored.

I'm just in from work and I'm sitting in my pj's horsing down a cup of hot chocolate and staring in to space. Until I decided to come on here of course.

So....

Right.

You know what I did? I was sitting on the bus coming home and listening to my new ipod. You want to know what album I found on it that I didn't know I had?

Ultimate Disney Songs.

Oh yeah I went there.

So I'm sitting there with a shit eating grin on my face, moments away from standing up, throwing my arms out and bursting in to song, all the while the drunken old people pile on the bus and start hitting each other with handbags. Unintentionally of course. Strange people occupy the last bus home. The stragglers. The weirdos.

I, however, wanted to round them all up and create a Disney performance act. We already had the tour bus down so it was just a matter of getting everyone involved and learning all the words.

We could travel the globe!

Or temple bar... wherever tourists are to part with their cash.

Anyway its just an idea. I'll mull it over and try to pick out any major flaws in my plan before I go through with it. I can't imagine there would be many though. The plan is simply fool proof! If things go wrong or people threaten to leave, I'll just bribe them with a brandy and I'm fucking sorted. Bingo.

I even have a name.

The Late Night Chorus.

How amazing is that?! I'll tell you. Its fucking amazing.

Look out for our tour. We're going to be big.

Remember where you saw it.

Hypocrites

Ugh. I'm so disgusted by some people.

So of course the news broke about the whole Robsten thing last night. At a Kings of Leon gig no less. One of my favourite bands for the past 4 years and a heartbreak for me and millions of others at they're gig. Great. That's just super.

Ok I'll admit, I was traumatised. Not the fact that Rob is hooking up, far from it! I want him to get his groove on, he's young, hot... might as well go for it! However the part I wasn't happy was that it was that excuse of an actress with the severe attitude disorder.

I expressed this. On Robsessed. And of course the Kristen brigade came to the rescue. Basically I was called a preppy bitch and a Jonas Brother fan. Because I don't like Kristen Stewart.

Give me a fucking break.

I don't like someone because they are an illiterate moron and has the worse mannerisms I have ever come across. Is she trying to look like she's having a seizure or is that unintentional? I have NEVER liked her. She can't act. She plays every single character she gets her hands on in the same way. She has destroyed Bella and I'm terrified to see what she does to Joan Jett, on of the greatest fucking icons ever!

I expressed this and of course, I get lynched. Putting it nicely of course.

I am sick of this classification of anti Stweart Rob fans as being 14, hormonal, 'preppy' and going around without a clue.

I am 22 years of age for fuck sake. I have finished college and know a few things at this stage. I have a love of classic literature, architecture, music and photography. Don't fucking dare classify or even associate me with one of those witless wonders.

I was the first one to come out and say something negative about the coupling along with mentioning that I was heartbroken on the board. I wasn't expecting full support, but in the end only a couple of people owned up and admitted that they felt the same. I was disgusted. Everyone else took the 'high' road and tried to put across that they were happy for them. Whatever. I know there were an awful lot of people keeping quiet about the whole thing. But then some people had the audacity to say that people like me were being mocked for coming out and saying we don't like her and are unhappy because Rob is off the market?! Oh would you ever fuck off and get away from me!

I know its a fantasy, I know deep down that I'll never meet him. I just choose to ignore all of this and play happy family. When did everything start getting so serious?! Jesus. I felt like I at the wrong end of a witch hunt!

Overall I've been completely turned off. Turned off the comment section of the board and turned off by Rob fans. I don't want to be associated with any off that bullshit. I like my life simple. No arguments.

There'd be no point in trying to defend yourself either because those people just go at you harder calling you immature and attack you for expressing yourself, even if you are being respectful to Kristen in the process.

No. Not for me sorry.

Bye Rob. It was good while it lasted.